Hi, JereMaya it's Daddy. Today is February 28th, 2022. And for this eighth episode, I thought it would be fun to tell you how I met my best friend, aka your mom. And I have to say, when people ask me this question, depending on the person and how I feel, I have three different answers. The first, if I know the person could be adventurous and inquisitive and not judge me too harshly, and if I feel edgy, I tell the person that I first met your mom at a hotel.

The eyebrows raised and the jaw dropping always crack me up.

For the folks who happen to be adults in the early two thousands. I tell them your mommy and I met online. This was back in 2003 when the internet was still very new and foreign to most folks, especially when it came to meeting new friends and dating. It's weird, but not surprising to think mommy and I were pioneers in this new digital way of connecting. Which has become a social norm today.

But for most folks, just to keep the conversation shorter. I tell them I met your mom through church. And for these three answers, hotel, online and church. They're all true. And are key points to how I met your mother. So let me explain.

Your mom found me online on a social network service called Friendster, that predates Facebook and MySpace. The site is dead today, but back in 2003, it was basically a site where you connect with your friends and then write these testimonials of how you met and what these people mean to you. So that friends of friends can learn more about each other based on friends' public testimonials. The site really focused on the concept of six degrees of separation, which basically means all people are six or fewer social connections away from each other.

So when your mom's signed on, because her friend recommended her to join Friendster, it turns out that my friend recommended me to join the social network. And somehow your mom's friends' circle of friends and my friends' circle of friends, were connected. So even though our two friends never met at that point, your mom was able to discover my online profile.

And on my profile, I linked to my blog. Back then it was on a platform called Xanga. That's spelled X-A-N-G-A, where a lot of young folks like me were expressing themselves back then. Well, she read quite a few blog posts and found me interesting. So she did something bold, something she claims she never did before.

She directly messaged a complete stranger, which I wish I kept on file. I remember many years later, printing it out and framing it for her, but she was way too embarrassed to hang it on a wall. But I do remember the message. It basically said, " hey, Mike. I noticed you're a fourth generation, Chinese American and a Christian. I was wondering if you knew any good churches in the bay area?"

That was basically the whole message right there. My first thought, besides checking out what your mom's profile image looked like was that I have never met anyone outside my family who claimed to be fourth generation Chinese American. So she definitely caught my attention. My success with dating Asians and Asian Americans in the past were utter disasters.

And a big piece of that failure was that my ex-girlfriend's parents would indirectly and directly tell me I am not Chinese enough. And they were totally right since I grew up completely Americanized with very little Chinese culture instilled into me.

One thing I found funny is that your mom didn't read my blog very well because I wasn't Christian back then. My blogs were a journal, of what I was learning at church as an atheist. So I was a bit concerned. She may think that's a deal breaker since, it's pretty common for Christians to refuse to date non-Christians. But Hey, I thought her pickup line of asking what good churches are there in the bay area was pretty good. So I offered to introduce her to the one that I was currently attending, which was a church my brother has been part of already.

So far I've explained the online answer and the church answer, but you're probably wondering where does the hotel come into play? Well, it just so happens. My church was in a transition phase of finding a new building as they outgrew their old building.

So for several months, this church rented out the Marriott hotel's huge ballrooms that could fit up to 1000 people. And because the Marriott in Santa Clara was quite big. I said, we can meet up in the Marriott lobby. That way I can guide her to the designated Marriott ballroom, where my church was at.

But your mom was a bit too smart. She basically followed all the signs of my church's banners and went straight to the common areas where the church was meeting up. Meanwhile, I'm hanging out in the Marriott lobby. And at this time she's like a good five to 10 minutes late. Thinking she may be a no-show. I headed back to the church area. I didn't have her cell phone number because they weren't invented yet. Just kidding your mom and I are not that old, but I really didn't have her phone number because honestly, I didn't want to exchange numbers at this time. I mean, an attractive woman from out of the internet ether randomly contacts me online to meet up?

Seems a bit too good to be true. I had no idea if I could trust her with all the dangerous folks and deceptive scammers out there.

So while I was heading back to the church, your mom realized I may have been waiting in the Marriott lobby this whole time. So she started heading in that direction. We ended up meeting in the hallway that connects the Marriott lobby to the Marriott ballroom.

And our first in-person encounter is very memorable and still fresh in my mind. Your mom may roll her eyes when I say this. But this moment was not love at first sight. It was more like shock for both of us. I immediately recognized your mom based on her profile picture, but there was something she left out in our online conversations.

That day at the Marriott hallway, she had to be five feet. Eight inches tall, at least. She was wearing heels. Meanwhile, I'm only five, two, maybe five, three with shoes. At that point. I didn't know what she was thinking. I did mention to her in an email, I sent a day earlier that I was only five, two, and I remember writing this in a fun way to break the ice about my height. I tried to make it sound natural by saying being this short was great for breakdancing.

But apparently she later told me that she thought I was joking about both breakdancing and my vertically challenged height. So, yeah. Uh, five eight woman dating a five two, man. I'm sure it happens more often these days, since not everyone is superficial.

But out of my circle of friends, a matchup like, this is super rare. And I really didn't have high hopes or expectations that this would go anywhere at this point.

Miraculously your mom from the moment we first laid eyes on each other, kept smiling and she walked up to me and we shook hands. And after a nice brief introduction. We quickly went to the congregation since we were late for church. And I remember we sat in the back together.

And my goodness, that was not the best church service to take your mom to because the sermon was all about fundraising for their new home and asking for more money. But your mom was very patient and understanding and we decided to go to lunch afterwards. And that's where her character and our relationship would be tested early on.

Because I got lost taking her to my favorite restaurant. I'm absolutely terrible with directions and geography, and I didn't know how to get to it from the Marriott hotel. It's just a. A route I never took before. This was before Google maps was invented. And before I bought a GPS navigation device.

And I remember making a wrong turn somehow. And I ended up calling my brother for help to give me directions. I don't think your mom was impressed.

Anyway, we got to my favorite restaurant and something I didn't tell you is that my favorite restaurant in the bay area back then - it isn't the highest quality food or five-star service. In fact, the food is really cheap and this was very uncharacteristic of me to take a first date out to a cheap restaurant.

But I treated your mom differently than anyone else I met. And to be totally honest, I wasn't in the mindset to find a new girlfriend, because I just broken up with someone a few weeks prior. So I just took your mom to this restaurant, which is my favorite place to hang out during college.

A place where I felt most comfortable. And that place is called Pepper Lunch, which is a teppanyaki restaurant. And to this day, it's still there in Milpitas. But back then each meal was only $3 and 99 cents for sizzling beef over rice. And one byproduct of that is that you would smell like beef afterwards. So the food was good, but would I recommend this place for a first date? No, that's another fail to make a good first impression.

And even better. I offered to take care of your mom's meal. You know, that $3 99 meal. And how did I do that? I used a pepper lunch meal coupon card, where if you pay for 10 meals over time. Your 11th meal is free. Your mom's meal ended up being the 11th. I swear, this was the cheapest date ever.

So you're probably thinking with such a rocky start getting lost, taking your mom to a cheap, comfy food restaurant that makes your clothes and hair smell like beef. This doesn't sound like a recipe for success. But I have to tell you, Jeremy and Maya, your mom and I spent over two and a half hours at pepper lunch.

Time, literally flew as we just started getting to know each other. There was this instant chemistry. And I think a lot of it had to do with our upbringing. We talked about our parents, our siblings, our friends. It's not like we have very much in common other than being fourth generation Chinese American. But we laughed a lot and we just found each other's stories and interests fascinating.

I don't think I've ever had such a strong connection with a person much less this soon after meeting her.

And about two years later, after falling in love with your mom, enduring a long distance relationship where I went to law school in New York, while she remained in the bay area, I took her back to the exact same spot in the Marriott hotel, where we first met. And I proposed to her on one knee. And this year we're celebrating our 16th anniversary with two amazing children and the most naughty yet loving family cat. So that's how I met your mother and I have no regrets taking her to pepper lunch to this day.

And here are some key takeaways I'd like you to reflect on. First. Online dating totally works. But to really stand out, I highly recommend not just filling out your online profile.

But link it to a personal website or blog that can give a potential date, much more substance and depth to who you are. Your mom probably would have dismissed me had she not read my personal blogs. And I'm so glad she did because she got insights to my personality.

What was important to me. And how open and vulnerable I can be, which is something most men don't do. And she got all this information without meeting me first.

Second be cautious when you meet someone new, online. There are so many stories out. There are fraud and people being harmed by strangers they meet from the internet. I do not regret waiting to share my phone number with your mom until after our third or fourth date. You have to build trust and know who you're interacting with before disclosing sensitive information to a stranger.

And lastly in general, Don't be cheap and try to impress your date with a free meal coupon card. That was not a win with your mom. And I think I was exceptionally lucky with someone who is very patient and gracious. I think she is a true example of when you meet the love of your life, you are willing to settle for some little flaws and quirks.

But in all seriousness meal, coupon cards are worth saving for other occasions. Alrighty, JereMaya. It was really fun sharing this story about your mommy and me. If you decide to want to share life with a future partner, we look forward to meeting him or her and hearing stories - much like ours - with lots of heartfelt moments and laughs along the way. Love you.