Hi, JereMaya. It's daddy. Today is April 10th, 2022. And for our 14th episode, I wanted to tell you a story. I don't often talk about. I wrote about it once on my blog many years ago, but the main reason I'm telling you this now, Is because every once in a while I wake up in the middle of the night because I relive this memory.

It brings up many emotions and makes me think. A lot.

In 1987, my older brother, Mark, was run over by a two ton van. He was only 10 years old. Trick or treating with nearly a dozen of his friends on a cold rainy Halloween night. They came across a group of teenage punks who were throwing eggs at all the children in our local streets. My brother's friend's mom, the designated chaperone, yelled for the children to find haven in her family's 17 person carrying van. She had been following them with the vehicle in case the rainfall would be too burdensome. The van was stopped on a slope of the road.

Mark and his posse of costumed friends, sprinted to the van. My brother was the last one to get in. There was a bunch of yelling as the teenagers, continue to pelt them with eggs. The van slowly began to move forward. Within seconds, everyone felt a minor bump. A bump that was not supposed to be there.

Someone shouted, "Mom, you ran over Mark!"

During the chaos, the vans' passenger door swung open and mark apparently fell out as the vehicle jolted forward. The van's back tires ran over my brother.

I wasn't there. My mom, little sister and I were enjoying our Halloween loot back at home, safe from all the rain and teenage bullies. I remember hearing a loud knock and a series of rushed doorbell chimes. Mom opened the door and cried out. Mark was carried into the kitchen. He sat awkwardly on a chair at the dinner table. There were huge black tire tread marks embedded along his left thigh. And a few scratches on his knees. Tears were streaming down his face.

He was alive.

My parents later explained to me that because of the slanted slope and the amount of rainfall that softened the road. The two ton van didn't crush Mark. Had my brother been in a different position or angle when he landed, he could have been seriously harmed or killed.

Had my brother not returned that Halloween night, my life would have been radically different and knowing this, it's not easy for me to go back to sleep when this memory pops up.

My mind is always racing on the big, terrible "what if?" And there are three, what ifs that really stand out to me. First. We would have parted without realizing how much we love one another. Back then we did not have a good brotherly relationship. I was an annoying brat to him and he knew how to hurt me both verbally and physically.

And when he wasn't mean. He wasn't really there for me when I really could've had better guidance from an older brother. It wasn't until I was 20 years old when your uncle mark unexpectedly reached out to me. I was living in Japan at the time. So he instant messaged me over AIM- in case you don't know what that is. That's America online's instant messenger, which was a very popular online service at the time. Anyway, he told me about an epiphany he had: he wasn't the best brother to me. Yet now he wanted to be. I remember taking a big pause when he typed those words in my chat window.

I was in the basement of Tokyo's Sophia university, the Japanese call it "Jotchi Daigaku." So I was thousands of miles away from America. In an underground computer lab. It was filled with white bright lights. And for that moment, I remember feeling very out of place in a very different way. Studying abroad is a great humbling experience and it really takes you out of your comfort zone.

But what I felt in that moment when Mark reached out to me was it different kind of foreign feeling.

It was genuine concern, empathy, and most of all love from someone that never really expressed it to me before.

While I was slightly confused because of the strained relationship we have had our entire lives, I began to feel hopeful. And since that day, we have grown very close.

The second "what if" scenario of my brother not returning that Halloween night: would be, I would never accepted Mark's invitation to attend church- an experience that forever changed my life. Where by the grace of God, I decided to follow Jesus Christ with all my heart. I'll have to share more about this story in a future episode. By the way, this is also the same church where I eventually met your mom for the first time, which I described in podcast episode eight.

The third terrible "what if," and probably the most impacting for you twins is that I would not have been able to experience the joys of being an uncle, building a strong bond with my nephews. Because of your uncle mark and auntie Diana and their children. I would not have been as ready or as willing to become a parent myself. Time spent with them opened and continues to open my eyes to wonderful possibilities and hopes that I could experience with you two.

I learned and still learn to this day so much about parenting through them. The do's the don'ts and I'm often in amazement, how dedicated your uncle mark and auntie Diana are to their kids' hopes and future.

So those were only three. What if scenarios? But the list goes on indefinitely and this endless list leaves me in a state of wonder and awe in how one person can create ripples of life changes. I'm incapable of imagining a happier life without my brother being part of it.

I praise God that your uncle mark is still here. Alive and well, Loving his family and living a life worth mentioning.

So JereMaya, what are some key takeaways for today? First. People even the most difficult, distant, and harmful ones, can change for the better. When I was 19 years old, I never imagined 20 plus years later that I'd be anticipating and enjoying our monthly meetups for siblings night out with my brother and my sister, your auntie Emily. Your uncle mark is the one that initiates and proactively creates these traditions and opportunities for our family to be closer, stronger, and more loving. The 19 year old me would never have guessed this would happen in my lifetime. So, yes, people can change for the better. It may take 20 years for this change to happen. But it will be worth it.

Second. Cherish this time with your family now. You really never know when someone, especially your sibling leaves this earth. Be there for them, support them, help them. You twins are best friends. And I really hope you remain this close to the very end.

But if there ever is a conflict or some drama that separates you two, I pray you reflect on this story and think if such a grudge and such distance is really worth it.

Third. Every life has the potential to make large ripples in another's life. They could be terrible, which can cause friction, push people away or distract them from their purpose and passions. And honestly, I think my brother did that to me in my younger years. But someone loving wise and supportive can cause empowerment, bring people together and help others focus on their mission, strengths and potential. And your Uncle Mark does that for me so much every day.

Think about who in your life is making those ripples today. And every once in awhile, think about those who have the potential to do that for you and others. This mindset and the practice of observing others as people who make life-changing ripples, will give you a greater perspective and appreciation of those in your life today.

Well, that's all for now, JereMaya. When you get a chance, be sure to thank your uncle mark for not getting killed on that Halloween night. And for the many new adventures, we will all experience together. Love you.